Jesus and Me

by Linda Odum Reynolds

I am not “religious”. I was. In fact, I was the A #1 baker of casseroles, leader of the choir, teacher of the Sunday School, right hand man of the minister and the consummate Church Lady, God forgive me. And He did by the way. Anyway, after of lifetime of being a Christian and nifty, neato Church Lady, I met Jesus. (Wonderful story of that part of the journey filled with sin, intrigue, falling down more than I stood up, more misery than I ever want to experience again, and a stripping away of all I always believed myself to be right down to the bare bones of who He knows me to be.)

Oh…….my ……goodness! Say WHAT?!?!? Meeting Jesus just ten years ago? For the first time?

“But,” I said, “I have ALWAYS been a Christian. How can this be that I’m just now beginning to know You? I don’t even know who I am anymore!

“Well, what with your Church Lady activities, your running headlong jump into sin and debauchery, and this recent whining and carrying on, yelling at Me about forgiveness and punishment and atonement, you’ve been a pretty busy little girl. And no, by the way, I don’t think it’s a good idea that you go find a leper colony and dedicate the rest of your life to healing the afflicted. Also, the signing up to be a nun is probably not a good idea. We don’t have a great need for Episcopalian/Baptist/Methodist nuns, but thank you anyway. And no, I don’t know where you can find any sackcloth and ashes, so just stick with your jeans and tee shirts.”

“So…..so, what do I do now?” I asked in bewilderment.

“Follow Me.”

“Well…..ok. But shouldn’t I bake a casserole or visit the sick or something? Surely there is something You want me to do.”

“Follow Me.”

“Ok,” I said. “But it sure seems peculiar not to know who I am anymore though it is mighty nice to know who You are, Sir. I’ve always been the good daughter, wife, mother, church worker, police officer, fallen sinner, terrible sinner, worst sinner in the world and Lord you know I’ve been really, REALLY good at all those things. Of course, You know I’m NOT prideful about these things but I was the best at them, don’t you think?”

He raised an eyebrow, shook His head, rolled His eyes and said “Follow Me.”

“Lord.” I said. “You know I would NEVER argue with you but it does seem that You would give me a little help here about telling me who I am now and what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Follow me,” He said again and started down the road. I didn’t have much choice but to follow since He was holding my hand as usual. Of course I could have let go but I didn’t think that was the thing to do at this point. I was in enough trouble anyway and there was no sense in letting go and getting lost again. He was leading, and I was following. I was waiting and watching to see what I was supposed to be doing but it seemed I was just to keep on following Him.

Oh my, it was nice not to have to DO anything. I mean, we would stop now and then and I would bake a casserole for someone or visit somebody who was ill. But it was different now. Somehow I understood I was doing that for ME not them. That was a surprise I'll tell you. Sometimes we would sit down for long spells while He talked to me and I rested. Several times I almost fell but He caught me before I hit the ground and just walked on with me snuggled up next to Him. Every now and then I would get ill tempered and pitch a fit and yell at Him. He’s not bothered by that, I learned. I surely would not have done that as the Church Lady who never scuffed her spiritual Mary Jane’s. But I had already walked through the mud in mine so it didn’t much matter because He had already seen they were pretty dirty and didn’t seem to care one way or the other.

When I found out how much He loves me, I found out how much He loves all the rest of the folks. I suppose I’m very much a fanatic about Jesus though not the bumper sticker, “Honk if you love Jesus” kind or the “Let me pray for you and it will get better” kind. Good grief: We’re all grown people and if you want to be prayed for tell me and I will. But I can’t tell you it will get better because I don’t have a clue what’s coming next for me much less the next guy.

Now that I think of it, I don’t think that’s right. The Church Lady was a fanatic about Jesus. She could pistol whip you with her Bible, chapter and verse. I guess I’m just goofy in love with Him but I don’t have to yell about it all the time.

So here we are, ten years later just a walkin’ down the road and I’m not worried anymore about what I’m supposed to be doing or who I am because someplace along the way He told me. Actually, He told me a whole long time ago but at some point I heard Him. I know I am supposed to follow Him and I am a sinner saved by Grace.
 

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